How I Became Anti-Vaccine. 

For several years, I was unsure. I felt caught between different sources of conflicting information that I thought to be credible. But I knew too much to believe what we were always told – that vaccines were “safe & effective”.

I chose a delayed and selective vaccine schedule for my son. I was torn between the risk of a “preventable” disease and the risk of vaccine injury. I didn’t know as much as I do now.

after_vaxThe first time he received vaccines, at 4 months of age, he was somnolent for 4 hrs following the shot – awake but out of it. I was worried, because it wasn’t like him to be awake and not fully alert… but I felt some relief when he seemed to be back to himself later that day.

A month later I went in to get him two more shots (Prevnar & Hib). It was then that I found out the nurse had given him a vaccine for which I did not consent. I was livid. At the previous appointment I had requested a DTaP-only shot. The nurse said it was available but scoffed and rolled her eyes at me for not wanting to give him the rest of them, and tried to pressure me to give him the rotavirus vaccine. She ended up giving him Pediarix – DTaP, Polio, HepB in one shot – while my husband and I sat there believing she was administering DTaP. Pediarix contains high levels of aluminum and I had intended to avoid it.

Three days after that second set of vaccines, my son started showing signs of having neurological damage – he developed some kind of head tic, which looking back, appears to have potentially been non-febrile seizures (no fever). I didn’t connect it to the vaccines at the time. I didn’t know that both Prevnar (pneumococcal) & Hib contain aluminum. I didn’t know that aluminum has been linked to tics in scientific studies. I didn’t know that aluminum reduces the concentration of magnesium in the central nervous system, which can lead to tics, nor that it destroys nerve cells in the brain – and that this was happening to my 5 month old son. But I know now.

I was still naive, ignorant, and fearful of diseases for the next year of my son’s life. I was caught in between the risks of the diseases and the risks of the vaccines. I was concerned about whooping cough, so he received two more doses of DTaP. But as he got closer to two years of age, I started getting more and more concerned about his development. He had several symptoms of being on the spectrum. Language and speech delays, gross motor delays, cognitive delays (for example, he couldn’t understand how to answer a yes or no question until after he was 2 years old), he had sensory processing issues, he refused to let anyone, even me, hug or kiss him, he would bang his head on the couch and into people, sometimes the floor…

ben_basket
He would rarely look me in the eye or smile for pictures, when his younger cousin would immediately make eye contact and smile. He had a pretty vacant expression much of the time. There were many indicators, and I was honestly terrified as he grew older, that it would become more and more obvious to everyone else that he was not a neurotypical child. I don’t think anyone in my life knew how much anxiety this brought me.

At that point I chose to stop vaccinating him altogether and I started focusing on getting him eating well. I also began to educate myself on all of the toxic ingredients in the products in our home. Parabens, phenoxyethanol, methylchloroisothiazolinone. The list is long. Shampoo, soap, lotion, toothpaste… I threw them out. I started making my own deodorant and I began learning about essential oils and natural health. I started making him fresh fruit and veggie smoothies on a daily basis. I know that this had to have helped his system get a break from the onslaught of toxic substances in order to start to repair the damage to his brain and body.

Then my daughter was born and my son finally started being able to speak more than two syllables at a time. I found I had the ambition to dive head first into reading anything and everything I could find on vaccines, disease, and health, so I embraced it. I was obsessive about reading scientific studies from both sides and looking into the history and statistics of disease and disease mortality. I’ve never been so consumed with anything like I was with this. It was my sole focus besides being with and caring for my children. I spent hours – every spare moment – every day – reading. I’m not exaggerating… I would open my mouth to speak, and my husband would say, “Is this about vaccines?”

It was a rough time because he could not relate to my passion for the subject and he was trying to focus on supporting our family. He didn’t really have time to hear about every new detail I was piecing together. The aluminum, the mercury, the aborted fetuses, the chicken embryo cells, fetal bovine serum, casein (milk protein), monkey kidney cells (“vero cells”)… Then there was the constant flow of stories from mothers and fathers about their vaccine injured children. The stories about how their pediatricians refused to acknowledge that vaccines could have been a factor in the sudden decline of their child’s health, even though their child was perfectly healthy and happy prior to shots, and only hours after began screaming inconsolably for days – then suffered developmental delays, digestive issues, recurring ear or respiratory infections, food allergies (e.g. to casein, eggs, peanuts), etc.

There were way too many stories of infants dying shortly after vaccines and their deaths being labeled “SIDS” by blind medical professionals who had no clue about the ingredients in vaccines, nor would they give credit to the fact that genetic mutations can make children susceptible to vaccine injury and death.

There were so many stories of children getting a “measles -like” rash and a fever, shortly after receiving the live-virus measles/mumps/rubella vaccine… so many doctors refusing to diagnose measles, AS MEASLES, after the child was injected – with the live measles virus! Most parents don’t know that live virus vaccines can “shed”, like in the case of rotavirus or varicella (chicken pox) – or maybe they’ve been told that shedding is a myth. Yet, the MMR vaccine insert [page 5] states that live rubella virus can be swabbed from the nose of vaccinated individuals for 29 days post-vaccination. It’s been documented in the case of one vaccinated two-year-old, that it’s possible for a vaccinated person to carry and shed (and contract!) vaccine virus-associated measles five weeks after receiving the live-virus vaccine. But the one that takes the cake is the story of the man who shed the vaccine version of the polio virus for almost 30 YEARS.

pertussis_propaganda
Then there are the stories of fearful, and sadly, very uneducated new parents, who think they’re protecting their child by requesting or even demanding that relatives receive a DTaP or Tdap vaccine prior to visiting their new baby.They don’t know that the DTaP & Tdap vaccines can make people asymptomatic carriers of whooping cough and that the FDA admitted it. The CDC even stated that, “vaccinated children may be asymptomatic reservoirs for infection.” To clarify, anyone who receives the pertussis vaccine can become infected upon contact with pertussis, exhibit no symptoms, and then unknowingly transmit that infection to other people, including newborn infants who are most at risk. At least if you haven’t received the vaccine, you’ll start to exhibit symptoms of being ill and know to stay away from a child. If you receive the vaccine, you’ll never know.

merck_explain Then there are the news stories and studies of  disease outbreaks in fully-vaccinated populations… Like this outbreak of whooping cough, and this outbreak of mumps. The efficacy of most vaccines is questionable at best. Merck is even being sued for greatly exaggerating the efficacy of their MMR vaccine.

But this is not something pediatricians tell parents. Do they even know? The flu vaccine is always less effective than they claim it to be. The live flu mist? The CDC is discontinuing it because it was so ineffective. Hm, maybe because they’re spraying live flu virus into people’s noses – do you really think they aren’t going to get flu symptoms or spread that virus around..? Sigh.

Then there’s the evidence that the death rate from “preventable diseases” had already dropped like a lead weight before the introduction of vaccines in the 60s. Pharmaceutical giants are content to keep people believing and spreading the historically inaccurate idea that vaccines were responsible for saving lives,
and not – mortality_declinebetter nutrition, the sewer system, sanitary living conditions, better hygiene, hand washing, food safety prep, cleaner water, environmental regulations, a better understanding of how to treat diseases and support the body, etc. The CDC even states that clean water was one of the greatest public health achievements of the 20th century because of how it contributed to the decline in disease mortality. But be careful, if you say that, you may get attacked. It’s not politically correct in a world of vaccine zealots to mention that anything else but vaccines could have contributed to saving lives from “preventable diseases”.

Then came learning about how these “preventable diseases” are actually treatable with modern medicine or even with just – better nutrition. Measles is treated with vitamin A. The severity of whooping cough can be greatly reduced with high doses of vitamin C. These diseases were hardly considered dangerous and rather more like a rite of passage for kids in the 50s & early 60s, and now we know so much more about how to treat them. But the fear-mongering in the media and from medical professionals is intense. And ridiculous.

And THEN came learning how these “preventable diseases” are actually beneficial to the immune system to contract and are linked to having a reduced risk of cancer

Pharmaceutical companies/vaccine manufacturers have been known to commit fraud and continue to push their deadly drugs even while knowing they’re killing people. And our government agencies seem to be heavily influenced, if not totally bought by the pharmaceutical companies. A group of more than a dozen senior scientists at the CDC came forward lodging an ethics complaint, alleging that their agency is being influenced by corporate and political interests, and that this corruption and “cooking” of results is the norm, not the exception. Another senior CDC scientist-turned whistleblower has come out declaring that he and other CDC scientists trashed data that would have revealed an autism-MMR link. [Watch Vaxxed.] The director of the CDC, Julie Gerberding, knew about this cover up. And once the fraudulent study was published, Merck (maker of the MMR vaccine) rewarded her with a position as the head of their vaccine division.

What else am I going to learn about this issue that blows my mind even more? I keep learning new things each day. Still. To this day. Because I READ STUDIES – Studies that never see the light of day because the media will never report on it. And it amazes me how utterly brainwashed we have been to believe we can inject “health” – especially when these injections contain toxic levels of aluminum and mercury. It’s amazing that we think we know how to out-smart our biology, physiology, biochemistry, etc. That we think injecting pregnant women and babies with what reads like something out of a witches brew of ingredients – is NORMAL.

There’s more. And more. And more.

But it’s simply TOO MUCH to cover, TOO MUCH to share. There are so many more studies. Much more evidence of fraud by the CDC and pharmaceutical industry. 3+ years of daily reading and investigating this topic truly cannot be boiled down into one blog post, even though I’ve attempted to highlight the important points. I never imagined I would be such an activist for this cause, but my education in toxicology, my love for my children, and my intense passion for learning about science and health – has brought me to this point.

And – those of you who have seen all my posts on Facebook – sorry, for bombarding you with all of it. I really do know how controversial this is and that some of you are probably so annoyed that you have either un-followed or un-friended me. I have witnessed first-hand the hatefulness that posts about vaccines can incite. But I can’t help it and I can’t be quiet about it. Children are dying – being poisoned and damaged, developing chronic diseases – for what? To avoid having a fever and a rash for a week which can be treated with a vitamin? They may just get the disease from the vaccine anyway!

It may seem like I’m saying vaccines are pointless. But actually, there is a reason for it all. Children who start life with bodies damaged and burdened with toxic substances become a source of long-term profit to the medical and pharmaceutical industries. Why treat the underlying cause when you can prescribe a pill (or inject a vaccine) to mask symptoms while creating a new problem? Healthy people do not create profit for the medical and pharmaceutical industries.

I’ll leave it at this. People like to call the vaccine issue “the rabbit hole” – i.e. when you start to investigate vaccines, you feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland, not realizing that this journey you’ve started on will be so bewildering that your entire understanding of how the world works begins to change. When you start to read facts that challenge your world-view, what do you change? Clearly, you don’t change the facts. I am constantly reshaping my world-view based on new information. I still read evidence presented by those who maintain a pro-vaccine position. And yet the more I read, the more confident I am in the information I’m sharing with you today.

In the words of Forrest Maready, I am pro-science. I am pro-health.

I am anti-vaccine.

 

Think, love, and be healthy.

 

121 comments

  1. I am an anti vaxxer too. My 1st born 29 years ago started fitting after receiving her first vaccine, so no more vaccines. Its been a battle through the years with choosing not to vaccinate my children. Good nutrition is vital towards a healthy life.

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  2. Thank-you for the article! It’s always reaffirming to hear other people’s stories. My journey began a little over 8 years ago and hasn’t stopped! I was on the fence with my first and did selective vaccination for the first two months (never allowed the Hep B at birth, that just seemed ridiculous), allowing a total of 4 single vaccines. He was not injured in any obvious way that I could tell, and seemed to have no reactions with the few I allowed. I just couldn’t fathom the possibility of losing his beautiful personality knowing that there might be a slight connection to autism or other neurological disorder. I had a horrible gut feeling every time we went to the doctor and no matter how much I researched on their safety I could never assure myself out of that gut-sinking feeling. I stayed on the fence for another couple years thinking I might start a delayed/ selective schedule (I had not actively continued vaccinating), but NEVER could force myself to feel right about it. My gut feeling never went away until I firmly decided to discontinue. He acquired rubella from a recently vaccinated friend, recovered with no issues, and that caused me less dread than the vaccines ever did. I didn’t allow any with my second. She was sick with respiratory illnesses for much of her first year (big brother went to Kindergarten), but since then, she’s almost 4 now, has been the healthiest member of the family when viruses roll around. Usually ends up with milder, shorter, or no symptoms than her brother, while his drags on for a week or more longer. Both had chickenpox, and aside from the annoyance of the sores, they ran around, ate normally, and generally DID NOT act sick. I was hoping for some chill time watching fun movies or something…but I couldn’t get the little one to slow down! After a month of quarantine (they were sick two weeks from each other) they were about to explode. After these years of studying this topic, my own local demographic of children, and my two children, I can see how allowing kids to acquire some of these diseases can be beneficial, and how the vaccine schedule seems to be breaking down the immune system…even in my oldest (minimally vaccinated) who gets sicker despite having the basic same diet growing up as his sister who has had no vaccines. Studying the diseases themselves, from documents written before vaccines became the sacred cow, also helped me make my decision. When you go back before the diseases were touted in hysterical fear mongering language, you find out how to properly treat them, and that most of them were fairly mild and not feared…just respected. Even my grandma (who believed that if there was a vaccine available, why not take it?) admitted that many of these diseases were not something that parents made a big deal about before the vaccine. Objective study, and not giving in to the fear mongering ads, is hard for any parent to do, but I sure do feel better having made MY OWN decision than being pushed into it by the doctors.

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  3. Wonderful article!! I seriously could have written this. I also have a vaccine injured child, and after that experience went down the “rabbit hole “. Thank you for speaking out!

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  4. It was as if I was reading my own words. Our journeys are so similar. I’m about five years in of obsessive research. Everything you outlined is spot on. Maybe you aren’t there yet in the rabbit hole or maybe you are but chose not to cover it here, but germ theory and the latest understanding of our immune systems, of virus and bacteria, etc is fascinating. Basically in a healthy body there really isn’t one virus or bacteria that presents a problem. Much like we’ve discovered with bacteria needing to be diverse and flourish for excellent health, we’ve discovered the same is true with viruses and pre and proviotics are in development to attract and feed viruses to promote a healthy virus level in the body. I’m hoping this change in mindset around viruses being healthful and helpful will get people questioning vaccines even more, yet with that realization about bacteria not enough people have waken up to the incredible damage antibiotics do to us so maybe my hope is too great. The problem with the vaccine debate is that it has limited the intelligence with which this topic demands and parents who do not dive deep into this topic are at best left feeling like they are choosing between the odds of vaccine damage or catching a deadly disease and when you simply do the math the odds are way more in favor of vaccine damage occurring. When, as you pointed out, that is not at all true. In fact every person who has ever received one vaccine is vaccine damaged because there is no such thing as that injection not doing damage to the body. A healthy body however does not have to worry about any virus or bacteria. Parents who do not vaccinate do not have to fear their child getting ill if they know how to support their immune system. You are so right in all that too, the toxin burden we face because of every synthetic in food, our personal care and beauty supplies, pharmaceuticals, household cleaning supplies, our laundry detergent, candles, hand sanitizes, all of it, every bit of it with every use damages our cells which leads to actual disease like cancer and suppresses our immune systems making it more difficult to fight off viruses or bacteria that are more aggressive. I cannot even say harmful because every one is beneficial in a healthy body. My kiddos are 4.5 and 2. I’ve only used nutrition and plant medicine, good sleep, sunshine (without toxic sunscreens and usually without any sunscreen at all), and I take synthetics seriously. All our products are completely and truly plant based and I keep chemicals out of and away from their bodies like they’re the plague. My first child regretfully received his two month shots (I thought nothing of vaccines until I got in that elevator after that appointment and it hit me like a ton of bricks like what did I just allow to be injected into my precious baby which I attribute to God because I had no reason to distrust vaccines prior to that) and no more and my second never received any. They’ve never had one medication not even an OTC. Neither has even had a cold. Occasionally, they get a sniffle and it’s gone by the next day every time. And they are around lots of kiddos each day. They are where I think most kiddos would be developmentally if most children were not injected with so many neurotoxins. Walking well before one, potty trained before two, reading at three, and so much more. They are in perfect health with not even so much as one health issue ever. We aren’t lucky or special. This is available to anyone. When I’m around a group of non vaccinated kiddos (and their parents also take all the chemicals in foods and products seriously) it is a world of difference than when we’re around children who eat the chemical foods, take all the medications doc’s give them, and use all the products from the store. The difference is so striking. My two year old is where most four and older kids are at. And again, it is not because we’re special or lucky. Bodies given what they are supposed to be given (only stuff straight from nature) and nothing synthetic or processed or modified can truly thrive. Thanks for sharing the truth to help wake up others. I wish everyone could see the truth and this sad reality would end overnight but even if we work our whole lives to change this and only one person listens and stops vaccinating and switches to a nature based life, it is worth it. That is one life, one child who is saved. But many more than one are listening. Keep at it!

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    • Crystal, yes! Please, if you have any resources you could share with me on the subject of terrain theory, I would love to read them. I echo every sentiment you’ve shared and believe the same! I hope and pray that our research scientists can start looking at toxicity more as the root cause of disease and see how nutrition is the true savior of health… we are opening eyes and ears one person at a time. I’m so very glad that you had that epiphany in the elevator. Thank you so much for sharing.

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    • The only options available in California, are to seek out a medical exemption based on family medical history (autoimmune, neurological disease), genetic traits like MTHFR (if you can find a doctor who recognizes it), or you can homeschool. I have friends who have chosen to homeschool even though they didn’t think it would suit them, and they’re getting along quite well with it!

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  5. Thank you for this beautiful article. Of course anti-vaxxers have the science on our side. We trust science. It’s *scientists* we don’t trust. You are much too kind to the system that is pushing these deadly vaccines on babies, the elderly, and everybody in between. It’s not JUST about the money. It’s largely about the U.N.’s filthy Depopulation Agenda 21/30. It’s about their Satanic hatred of humanity and love of child sacrifice. Hard as they pushed, they couldn’t get enough people to commit abortion for their ever increasing blood lust, so now they kill other people’s babies remotely with intentionally weaponized vaccines. It’s pure evil.

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  6. This is one of the first articles I feel I can share with a mom who doesn’t know why they should reconsider vaccines. Simple enough to understand yet all the science needed to prove why we shouldn’t poison our precious children. Thank you!!!

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  7. 35 years ago when my son had a reaction to the DPT shot I went down this rabbit hole and I’m glad I did because I know have 4 healthy, unvaccinated adult children with great immune systems. Thank you to Dr Mendelsohn, Dr Richard Moskowitz, Barbara Loe Fusher and Mothering Magaizine for leading me to the rabbit hole and the truth.

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  8. Great article and references. When a vaccine researcher, Dr Bonnie Dunbar, applied for funding to research the mechanism behind Hepatitis B vaccine injuries (her brother and another that worked in the lab with her were both injured by this vaccine, debilitating her brother) she was denied and accused of going on a fishing expedition. She spoke out on a congressional hearing, hepatitis B vaccine hurting or helping human health. This is the vaccine that I believe almost killed my infant 18 years ago.

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